Your twenties are an exciting, albeit nerve-wracking and stressful time. Whether it’s school, work, or a budding relationship, it can become alluring and easy to shell out large sums of your hard earned cash. Keep your future financially secure by avoiding these 5 easy to make money mistakes.
1. Withdrawing your savings and trying to buy Haiti.
We’ve all been there. You just got your first “grown-up” job and now you have more money than you know what to do with. So, you ask yourself, what do I do with all of this? Unfortunately for an increasingly large amount of millennials, the allure to try and buy the Caribbean nation is strong.
I was able to sit down with Christina Diaz, a waitress here at the Norman Red Robin, and she was able to provide some context to this situation:
Hi, my name is Christina and I’ll be taking care of you today! Can I start you off with something to drink? Some tea? Water? A Freckled Lemonade?
My advice? Don’t try to buy Haiti. Save your money for something else.
2. Throwing your credit cards at strangers like Gambit from X-Men.
It is a statistical fact that Gambit is the coolest member of the X-Men. If you don’t believe me, look at this study conducted by the University of Toledo:
Adding to the fact that Gambit is a total boss in the video game Marvel vs. Capcom, it is easy to see why so many young people these days try to emulate him. However, as cool as Gambit is, there are pitfalls that can arise when one tries to do this. There has been an increase in the reports of young people running around yelling “CREDIT CARD!” and throwing their credit cards at strangers on the street. There are two major reasons why this is a problem:
1. Sometimes people don’t like having credit cards thrown at them.
2. If you listen closely in Marvel vs. Capcom, Gambit actually says, “KINETIC CARD!” and not “CREDIT CARD!” This is due to Gambit’s ability to create, manipulate, and control kinetic energy.
This misunderstanding is becoming increasingly common and it is a dangerous one.
3. Putting money in a blender and drinking it.
The pressure to look good has always been present in American society. Yet, through the power of popular culture and the media, that pressure is stronger than ever. Some young people have responded to the societal burden of looking thin by taking the seemingly logical step of blending and consuming their money.
While this may seem like a good idea on the surface, digging deeper into this activity reveals that blending your money and drinking it isn’t a smart move.
A recent study performed by the University of Phoenix revealed that blending dollar bills can be hazardous to your blender’s health. The fibers in the dollar bills can quickly cause wear and tear on the blades, making it less effective and ultimately costing you money.
The solution? Fill up your kitchen sink and let the dollar bills soak for about 30 minutes. Then, using your hands, tenderize the bills into a nice, mushy pulp.
This saves you money and hand-tenerizing your bills releases enzymes that makes it taste great!
4. Funding a militia to storm the Kohl’s at the local strip mall.
There is perhaps nothing more American than hating the department store Kohl’s. It’s a tradition as old as America itself. Sitting at home, having the vein on your forehead bulge out in anger while thinking about them greedily hoarding all of those really cool jeans and backpacks is something we’ve all done at least once in our lives.
The temptation to declare war and arm the men of the village with muskets is a normal and ever-present one. However, I must caution against this. Why? Because the price of muskets has risen dramatically in the past few years. See the chart below:
As you can see, the price of Charleville muskets (the best kind of musket) has increased heavily in recent years. In fact, it’s risen so much that the price is hovering slightly over 6!
6 is a big number. It is bigger than 2. Because of this, I must advise against someone trying to overthrow Kohl’s.
5. Building a rocket and going on a solo mission to find out where the Universe ends.
If there is one thing that the 1995 film “Apollo 13” succeeded in, it was ingraining into the collective American psyche that space can be really cool and fun. The fictional account of Jonathan Lerman (played by Tom Hanks) and his robot companion Kooby (voiced by Tobey Maguire) landing on a comet and getting into shenanigans across the galaxy captured our hearts and resonates with us even today.
It’s only natural to want to replicate what you saw on the silver screen. However, let us remember that Apollo 13 is, in fact, a movie. The Apollo 13 mission is completely fictional and didn’t actually happen. No human has ever been to space.
Add to the fact that recent studies have determined that the Universe is actually really big, building a rocket to go see where space and time ends might not be the best bang for your buck.
I was able to sit down with renowned astrophysicist and NBA superstar Kevin Durant to get his take on the matter:
By simply avoiding these easy to make money pitfalls, you can ensure that your future is financially secure heading into your next decade!